Bill Simmons love reliving the glory days of his trips to Vegas with Hirschy, House, Jack-O and whoever the hell else puts up with him because he's famous. Hopefully, though, he's stayed far away from the place this NFL season, as he is having just a brutal year of picking games against the spread.
Simmons went 2-13 in Week Seven, dropping his record on the season to 45-58-4, a percentage of roughly 43.7%. To this point of the season, if you bet $110 to win $100 on every game using Simmons' picks, you would have lost $1880 through seven weeks.
Of course, it's worth pointing out that some of the games Simmons and other writers pick when previewing every game are horrible football games that no self-respecting human should ever wager money on (such as the abomination that took place at the Meadowlands last night), but that doesn't fully erase the stench of a 2-13 week.
On the bright side, Simmons isn't picking as poorly as fellow ESPN-er Colin Cowherd. Cowherd's weekly Blazing Five picks are a pathetic 10-26-2 through seven weeks. If you bet $110 to win $100 on each of his picks to this point in the season, you'd have lost $1860, in less than half as many picks! That is a truly remarkable level of incompetence.
What makes this so bad is the fact Cowherd is cherry picking five or six lines that he really likes each week, and still manages to screw them up spectacularly. He took Jacksonville at +19.5 at Seattle, citing that nearly three touchdowns was too much to give, lost that pick, then didn't pursue the 27 point head start with Jacksonville against the Denver Broncos at all.
Obviously, these things happen and it is nearly impossible to put together great season after great season in the world of picking football games. But if regular people like us had the ability to do weekly podcasts with future NFL executives or shoot the shit with former players at work, you'd better believe that it'd be a lot easier to be successful in football betting, and a lot more embarrassing when that success didn't come.