After an offseason that felt approximately seven years long, the NFL is finally back, starting with tonight's season opener. The next 22 weeks serve as an opportunity to fill your body with beer and neglect your loved ones, but they're also a chance to gamble away the money that was supposed to keep a roof over your head.

And since it's hard for you to continue visiting this web site if the bank has to take all of your possessions after you insisted that this was Alex Smith's year, we'd be remiss if we didn't help you win the bets you were going to make anyway.

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The following is everything you need to know to bet on Week One of the NFL season. Lines and bet percentages are from SportsInsights, moneylines and over/unders are from the LVH via VegasInsider, while ATS and over/under records are from TeamRankings. Since this is the start of a new season, ATS and over/under records are from last season.

Thurs. 8:30 PMSeahawksPackers
Spread-5.5+5.5
Line Open-3.5+3.5
Bet %48%52%
Over/Under47.5
Moneyline-250+210
ATS Record13-67-9-1
Away/Home6-44-4
Over/Under7-129-8
Away/Home3-76-2
Sun. 1:00 PMFalconsSaints
Spread+3-3
Line OpenPick 'Em
Bet %22%78%
Over/Under51.5
Moneyline+130-150
ATS Record7-910-8
Away/Home4-43-7
Over/Under9-76-12
Away/Home5-32-8
Sun. 1:00 PMTexansWashington
Spread-3+3
Line OpenPick 'Em
Bet %53%47%
Over/Under45
Moneyline-155+135
ATS Record4-125-11
Away/Home1-72-6
Over/Under9-78-8
Away/Home6-24-4
Sun. 1:00 PMChiefsTitans
Spread-3.5+3.5
Line Open-5.5+5.5
Bet %65%35%
Over/Under43
Moneyline-185+165
ATS Record9-86-8-2
Away/Home2-65-2-1
Over/Under8-99-6-1
Away/Home3-53-4-1
Sun. 1:00 PMRamsVikings
Spread-3.5+3.5
Line Open-6+6
Bet %20%80%
Over/Under43.5
Moneyline-180+160
ATS Record7-99-7
Away/Home5-34-4
Over/Under9-712-4
Away/Home5-36-2
Sun. 1:00 PMDolphinsPatriots
Spread+4.5-4.5
Line Open+2.5-2.5
Bet %22%78%
Over/Under47.5
Moneyline+200-240
ATS Record9-79-9
Away/Home5-32-7
Over/Under7-8-110-8
Away/Home3-4-14-5-0
Sun. 1:00 PMSteelersBrowns
Spread-6.5+6.5
Line Open-5+5
Bet %71%29%
Over/Under41.5
Moneyline-300+250
ATS Record9-76-10
Away/Home5-33-5
Over/Under8-89-7
Away/Home4-44-4
Sun. 1:00 PMEaglesJaguars
Spread-11+11
Line Open-11.5+11.5
Bet %64%36%
Over/Under52.5
Moneyline-700+500
ATS Record8-95-10-1
Away/Home3-64-4
Over/Under9-89-7
Away/Home3-65-3
Sun. 1:00 PMJetsRaiders
Spread-5.5+5.5
Line Open-4.5+4.5
Bet %63%37%
Over/Under40
Moneyline-260+220
ATS Record9-6-17-8-1
Away/Home6-24-3-1
Over/Under9-77-8-1
Away/Home4-45-3
Sun. 1:00 PMRavensBengals
Spread-1.5+1.5
Line Open-1.5+1.5
Bet %48%52%
Over/Under43
Moneyline-130+110
ATS Record7-910-6-1
Away/Home4-42-5-1
Over/Under8-810-6-1
Away/Home3-54-3-1
Sun. 1:00 PMBearsBills
Spread-7+7
Line Open-4.5+4.5
Bet %79%21%
Over/Under47
Moneyline-330+270
ATS Record4-11-18-8
Away/Home1-6-12-6
Over/Under12-410-6
Away/Home6-26-2
Sun. 4:25 PMBuccaneersPanthers
Spread-2+2
Line OpenPick 'Em
Bet %52%48%
Over/Under39
Moneyline-130+130
ATS Record6-109-7-1
Away/Home4-43-5
Over/Under8-85-12
Away/Home5-33-5
Sun. 4:25 PMCowboysNiners
Spread+4.5-4.5
Line Open+3-3
Bet %43%57%
Over/Under51.5
Moneyline+200-240
ATS Record9-712-6-1
Away/Home5-37-2-1
Over/Under9-78-11
Away/Home4-44-6
Sun. 8:30 PMBroncosColts
Spread-7.5+7.5
Line Open-6.5+6.5
Bet %70%30%
Over/Under55.5
Moneyline-360+300
ATS Record11-7-111-7
Away/Home6-3-15-4
Over/Under12-710-8
Away/Home6-45-4
Mon. 7:10 PMLionsGiants
Spread-5.5+5.5
Line Open-3.5+3.5
Bet %69%31%
Over/Under47
Moneyline-260+220
ATS Record6-107-9
Away/Home3-54-4
Over/Under8-87-9
Away/Home5-33-5
Mon. 10:20 PMCardinalsChargers
Spread-3+3
Line Open-3+3
Bet %33%67%
Over/Under45.5
Moneyline-170+150
ATS Record11-511-6-1
Away/Home5-36-3-1
Over/Under8-87-11
Away/Home4-43-7

Which lines are you feeling this week? Is there something you'd like to see included in this space throughout the season? Yell at me about these, or other things, in the discussion section below or on Twitter.