I'm sure that there are a million places on the Internet telling you what to make for dinner (or where to go out to dinner) on Valentine's Day. Surely they have some good ideas, and will probably save a few people out there from sleeping on the couch tomorrow. But Valentine's Day dinner doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things.

Instead, I'd rather...

[light bulbs explode]

[glow in the dark rose petals fall from the ceiling]

[all of the clothes mysteriously vanish]

SKIP STRAIGHT TO DESSERT.

Of course, by that, I mean that I'd like to prepare a lovely confectionery treat to share with my significant other, so you just take that mind out of that gutter immediately, you sicko.

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My favorite Valentine's Day dessert is easily chocolate covered strawberries. This is the case because they are fun to make, they combine the sweetness of strawberries with the richness of chocolate, and because they are a neat little microcosm of any relationship.

For example, did you know that there are strange people out there who don't like dark chocolate? I know, that's insane, but they do exist. So some people totally have to be considerate to their partners and make chocolate covered strawberries with milk chocolate, presumably while eating brick by brick of dark chocolate before and after.

The point is that, despite little quirks that would probably be annoying otherwise, we can put that particular someone first because they're pretty neat to be around and it's fun to kiss their face and stuff.

So, yeah, let's make chocolate covered strawberries.

First, you need your ingredients: chocolate, strawberries, and something to decorate them with if you so choose.

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As far as the quality of these ingredients goes, that's up to you. If you only eat freshly picked, organic strawberries from your uncle's strawberry patch (farm? grove?), then that's cool. If you only eat chocolate from this one super-awesome local place that travels to South America and back to harvest its own cacao, that's cool too. If you don't mind going to the local supermarket and grabbing a plastic box of strawberries and a bag of Hershey's chocolate chips, there's nothing wrong with that either.

Quickly, this brings me to another reason as to why chocolate covered strawberries are awesome. While we are all inundated with advertising on just about every medium selling six softball sized chocolate covered strawberries for $20, making them yourself isn't difficult, and are so much more satisfying to make than to buy. So suck it, Corporate America.

Now that you have your chocolate, strawberries, and possibly some decorative supplies, rinse your strawberries under some cold water, because dirt isn't romantic.

Next, melt the chocolate. While there are a million ways to do this, you shouldn't over think it: just microwave a bowl of chocolate chips/bars/whatever for a minute, stir it, and repeat as necessary until your chocolate is not solid. Also, if you boil a pot of water underneath a smaller pot full of chocolate, melting it that way, you deserve to be alone for the rest of your miserable life.

Alright, now you have melted chocolate, and clean strawberries. With some sense of urgency, so as to avoid the chocolate solidifying into a bowl shaped block, dip your strawberries into the chocolate. Be sure to apply an even coating to each strawberry, placing them on a tray with wax paper on top of it.

Chances are that you're going to have some excess chocolate in your bowl, and you're probably wondering what you should do with it. Personally, I like to just eat it with a spoon, because I am disgusting and am going to die a premature death, but it's so worth it to eat a few spoonfuls of molten, chocolatey goodness.

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Now, about decorating these things. Maybe you don't want to, and that's fine, but it never hurts to apply a whole bunch of miniature chocolate chips or sprinkles to these guys by haphazardly sprinkling them right on top of the still solidifying chocolate. If nothing else, this will make them more aesthetically pleasing, which may be important to your significant other. Remember, this is all in the name of love (and snacks to totally finish as soon as she falls asleep).

Upon completion, toss your tray into the fridge for a while, until the chocolate has successfully hardened. When that has happened, put your chocolate covered strawberries into a fancy serving bowl or plate, light some candles, pour two glasses of wine, and put on a movie that the two of you really liked. Your night is just getting started.